One Foot Out the Door . . . a cautious guide to commitment

Once in a Blue Moon

It seems auspicious that our full-moon tonight is blue—the second full moon in a calendar month. A symbol of prosperity perhaps as we start a new decade? I prefer to think so. Or maybe it's about shining more light on these long winter nights—about hope.

Sure seems we could use a little optimism as we end a rough year and the media regales us with accounts of just how little good came out of the aughts: the zero decade. So as I do my New Year's reflecting, I'm keeping an eye out for unexpected good. Besides, my organizational development training tells me that chaos (as apt a description of our status/world disorder as I can think of) is a good thing: fertile ground for real change.

Here are a few great things about my 2009:

Poetry:
Was it really less than a year ago that I performed in a play that I co-wrote? It seems like that was another person. Meryl Streep I am not, but the experience helped strengthen my stage presence and delivery. And I had several opportunities to read my work this year: the independent book publishers event in Manhattan, March in Philly hosted by Lisa Grunberger, Kit Kennedy's monthly event on Nob Hill in May, LitQuake in October, and as the honored guest of William Wareham at Lava Rock A.I.R.

During 2009 I realized that I am very much a part of a wonderful performance poetry community here in NY. (Funny thing, Facebook was instrumental.) And yet, I struggle with my commitment to write poetry. While I'm honored to participate in a workshop led by a Pulitzer Prize-winning poet, I seriously consider dropping out each term.

San Francisco:
I made a comment once that a trip to SF takes about two weeks to recover from. My friend pointed out that one solution was to simply not go to SF. I tried it and she was right. No travel, no trauma. But also no joy. So in 2009 I made three trips. You can do the math--there was much time devoted to recovery.

I dearly love my SF friends and I hope I always will. The five years I lived there constitute a personal break-through. But this year I discovered that I don't have to live in SF. I carry what I consider special about it in my heart. I made an offer on an apartment in Brooklyn and as I write this, the closing is set for the first week in January. I will begin 2010 as a homeowner in New York City, something I didn't believe possible.

Downtime:
Ever since the first time I became a freelancer, I've used any paid vacation time to make some extra money. Now that I no longer have survival financial needs, I can use some of my free time to take an actual vacation. Maine and Provincetown have become favorites (and this year I added Vermont) not only because of the special places they are, but the friends I share them with.

Career:
Like most others, my employer did some restructuring last January. I had the bright idea that I could not only oversee five magazines, I could also take over the editing of one of them. Best decision I've ever made. I love the day-to-day of putting together a monthly magazine.

Romance:
I'm keeping this private for now, but I will say that 2010 looks particularly promising.

I'm sure there's much more, but it's time to get out from in front of the computer. The streets of The Village are covered in newly fallen snow. I'm grateful for my health, my friends and loved ones. Here's to hope and prosperity in the new year.

posted by Karen @ 10:55 AM